we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
