Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize