Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
