why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
