I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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