so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He shit in the fireplace
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
