You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize