If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
