went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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