Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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