Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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