I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
