I'm drive I can fine osifer
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
