I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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