i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
there is glitter all over my balls
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