why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
