Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
this will be a night to untag.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
