I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
