You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
