My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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