just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize