Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
