I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize