I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
