tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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