she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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