tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
