If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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