i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
