I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
