I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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