When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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