i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
