After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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