I am in a vortex of obligation.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
