I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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