i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
