would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
