I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
