mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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