What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
