So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
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To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
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All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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