I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
