she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
