i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
