Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
NoShamevember. You game?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
