Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
