Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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