I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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