a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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