I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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