i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
