smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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