I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
