Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
