white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
