Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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