i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
