saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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