OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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