He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
