so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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