Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
