We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
