i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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