too bad you live with your parents still
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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