How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
