when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
